They are growing up so fast6/18/2023 ![]() Look, I know this is coming off as harsh. Telling her that her enjoyment levels aren’t as high as you think they should be isn’t going to make that mom feel better. That mom may not look like it on the outside, but she’s probably not in the best state emotionally at that exact moment. ![]() Or maybe they’ve learned their child has a chronic medical condition that is going to seriously impact them for the rest of their life. Maybe, like me, their baby came early and they have to spend the first winter of their child’s life terrified of a simple cold killing their child. If everything I’ve said already isn’t enough, let me put this out there: imagine a mom struggling with raising a child with special needs. And you certainly can’t order them away with a simple “enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast.” Thank you! All I needed was for someone to tell me how to feel, and now I feel exactly the way you told me to.” I mean, maybe I would if I was being a smart ass, but I sure as shit wouldn’t actually feel happy just because you told me to. If I am feeling frustrated, and someone says to me, “Don’t be frustrated, be happy,” do I say, “Oh, be HAPPY! Yes of course, I will just stop being frustrated now that you have told me to. Here’s another reason why it’s not helpful to say “enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast”: because telling someone how to feel is stupid and pointless. Which is why the rest of us have to keep writing blogs like this, to help deprogram our readers. See, this whole “enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast” thing is making The Cult stronger. That if we aren’t positive and happy all the time, we don’t love our children. The Cult tells us that admitting motherhood is hard, and that not every moment of it makes us happy, makes us bad parents. What that mom of younger kids hears is, “You are a bad person who doesn’t love her children, otherwise you’d be enjoying every moment and not complaining.” The reason she hears that is because that younger mom is living in The Cult of Perfect Motherhood, where you’re supposed to be completely dedicated to your kids. Because, the phrase “enjoy every minute because they grow up so fast” is experienced by the mom who hears it as a guilt trip. Having a child who is actively rebelling against you and trying to push you out of their lives so they can be an adult? That has got to be painful, and I am not looking forward to those days.īut please stop comparing your crap to someone else’s and trying to make them feel bad because you think you have it worse. It was HARD, and I wasn’t even their parent. I worked with teenagers when I worked at summer camp, and it wasn’t even remotely easy. I think what the “enjoy every moment” person is trying to say is, “You think it’s bad now, wait until they’re teenagers and they talk back and try drugs and get the clap.” Yep, teenagers are hard to parent. So then someone else, usually someone with older kids, says, “enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast.” What?!?! Enjoy the poopsplosion? Enjoy the chapped nipples? Are you insane? So, the mom complains about these things, because are they fun things? No, they are crappy things. Like, sleep deprivation, poopsplosions, tantrums, chapped nipples from nursing…the list goes on. When a mom of younger kids hears the phrase “enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast,” it’s usually in the context of that mom expressing frustration with the challenges of raising a young child. ![]() There are so many awesome mom bloggers out there who have written on the subject of people telling moms “enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast.” But since the word apparently hasn’t gotten out to the people who keep saying this bullshit, and they keep saying it, and since I keep talking to moms who feel guilty when they hear this, apparently there’s room in the world for another post on it.
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